Real Life Isn't Nearly So Sweet
by Nancy CuddleKitten Nickeson
Summary: When real life gets the better of Ailish, turning to daydreams may be more helpful then she thinks. But are the daydreams really just daydreams? AU Undertaker/Hatter x OC (Ciel In Wonderland)
1. Chapter 1

_**((This was requested a while back I believe. I cannot remember who asked it, but probably it was collection of requests for this including me. This is for people who are going through hard times right now. Please try to stay positive in these dark times. I luv you all.))**_

* * *

_I always found myself standing outside those rusty gates. Staring at the old crumbling house that somehow still stood._

_From the rusty gates I always saw the table and the people sitting at it, always waiting for me..._

_They always waited for me..._

_I reached out, feeling the cold bars on the gate against my pale hand, telling me this was very real. It comforted me._

_I pushed against the gate, hearing it creak and groan loudly as it opened._

_I found myself smiling. I could see the familiar faces looking at me from the table. They were smiling as well. They had missed me..._

_I looked down, slowly stepping onto the barren ground. Grass rarely grew here... I felt the ground below my feet. Rock solid, void of moisture and nutrients..._

_I began to walk, hearing my footsteps thumping against the ground. I smiled as I approached the table, feeling welcome here. I always was welcome amongst them._

"_'Ello my dear Ailish. Come to join us again?" Asked the familiar voice of the Mad Hatter. My eyes turned to look at him, seeing his familiar face. He was always unique and the same._

_Silver hair that was long and silky, reaching the back of his legs. A scar across his face that disappeared above his fringe. A rather adorable outfit he always wore, a skull bowtie he always fancied. His lockets hanging off his hip. That iconic top hat on top of his head with the tattered purple ribbon hanging off._

_And then the others were always here. The March hare with his silly floppy ears on either side of his face. His bright green eyes showing some form of intelligence to them. He was always stern but always joined in the madness that was the Mad tea party._

_Then the sleepy door mouse who was always asleep. He was so cute with those mouse ears. He some times talked. But it always was funny when he did._

_Once I realized Hatter had asked me a question. I gave a nod, before feeling my throat vibrate with a voice I haven't heard in such a long while. "Yes, still don't have room for me at the table?" I asked with a smile._

_The Hatter snickered, his tea spilling onto the table cloth. "Of course my dear." He replied._

_"Of course." I agreed, a laugh escaping me which I also haven't heard from myself in a long while. "May I cut in anyways?" I asked._

_The Hatter laughed. "It's not like we will stop you m'dear. Now, would you like a cup of tea?" He asked, though now he was right behind me and he forced me to sit down at the table. I laughed softly. "Alright."_

_Once again we had our fun, telling silly jokes, having tea, scones, biscuits. I felt loved being in the company of mad men. When the March Hare handed me Tea using his garden tool I laughed hard, taking the spilling tea gratefully. I peeked at my reflection, seeing my black hair shining. My hazel eyes bright and happy. I never had to think of negative things here. My worries were gone. All I had to think of was my company of friends, if they deemed me a friend._

_My eyes stared at the scar on my neck in the reflection. I felt myself sadden...If only...  
_

"_My dear, won't you have another biscuit?" Asked the Hatter. I looked up, blinking at him. Oh yes, thats right. Why was I unhappy? There was no need. I agreed, taking another._

_The food was delicious, exploding onto my taste buds, filling my empty stomach. So many sweets to eat, never having to care about stomach aches. Just pure fun...I was happy here..._

_But they always came to an end._

_My eyes suddenly saddened, the company around me frowned. They knew what was coming._

"**Ailish? Do you agree to this?"**

My eyes looked up, seeing the familiar face of my case worker. I was no longer in the company of friends. And instead, was back to reality, in the meeting room with my case worker and staff from the state. I was confused, what were they talking about?

"You agree to have us become your guardian? And no longer receive transport?" He asked me. My eyes went wide. Whoa, where did this conversation happen? Why would they be my guardian? I frantically shook my head, unable to speak.

"Well, the state is making it required that we be your Guardian. You can say no, but thats what we have to do. And your service hours are depleted and we can not provide you transport." He said simply, not caring for my opinion...as always...

I kept shaking my head, my fingers quickly signing that I did not approve. But my heart saddened when my case worker stood up. "Well, it's about that time." He said, ending the conversation. I felt dumbfounded. So just because of the accident I was losing everything? When did this happen? I didn't require assistance twenty four seven. Only transportation. When did I become so disabled I couldn't be my own guardian? Why were they doing this? Jesus Christ this society was screwed all to hell.

Now everyone was getting up to leave, I found myself being alone in the meeting room. My eyes stared at the window, seeing it was raining outside. I would have to walk again...

I grit my teeth, before slamming my hand onto the table and getting up to leave. Why was this happening to me? I had no voice to speak up. I had no one to talk to. Everything was against me. So they refused transport, yet I couldn't be my own guardian. I was no longer in control of myself.

Would I lose my mind as well? Would I never be able to relax in my daydreams?

I grabbed my bag, heading outside and putting my hoodie up. I would have to walk four blocks...Like always. My shoes slapped against the water as I walked, trying to be careful of my walking. The ground was soaked. I didn't understand why the company was no longer giving me transportation. It still hurt to walk after the accident.

I possibly would never be able to talk again. I missed my voice, even though I hated it before the accident. I was stupid. I knew I shouldn't have gone out that day.

I was in the van with my staff friend. She was driving normally down the highway. But a semi had come out of nowhere and had hit us off the road. The van went flying off the road and into the woods and a tree branch had stabbed into my throat. When we landed I had broken my entire right side of my body as well. It was painful. I could have lost my head but instead I lost what had meant so much to me. I might as well had...

I couldn't help but think this way. My life was horrible at this moment in time. The only thing saving me was friends through the internet, anime, books, movies...

My daydreams...

Daydreams were my only sanctuary. My only safe haven...I suddenly fell onto my butt as I slipped in slippery grass. I sighed softly, wishing I could yell at the world. But it was always silence...

I felt like crying. Oh wait, _I already was_. The rain was hiding it. I slowly got up, shivering from the cold. I continued to walk, wincing as pain shot up my back. It hurt so much...I had to go to my daydreams. I had to focus on something pleasant. But right now it was unclear. I couldn't focus on_ him._

That familiar reaper from the anime Kuroshitsuji. Undertaker. It was impossible at the point. Reality was taking him away for now. I could relax better at home possibly. Maybe think about watching things on Youtube?

A lot of people had daydreams of their favorite person from either real life or from the story books. With Me it was part of my my life. Day dreams kept me going. That could be relatable to plenty of people in the world. Almost home...

I sighed softly, feeling a bit sick. I wanted nothing more then to curl up with my mangas and drink tea.

I crossed the street, sighing as I saw my apartment. Home sweet home? Not really. But it was my only safety... I walked inside the main entrance and climbed those horrible stairs. Each step made me cry silently in pain. Thank god these apartments were small.

I walked to my door, pulling out my keys. My nieghbor happened to show up. "Hey Ailish. You doing okay?" He asked.

I gave a small nod, pretending to be cheery as usual. I didn't like talking to them...I could barely maintain conversation since I was silent... As the signs clearly said on my door.

"Thats good, are you gonna go to the stores tomorrow?" He asked like a creeper. Why were my neighbors like this? I gave another nod, putting the keys in the doorknob.

"What are you gonna get?" He asked me, once again interrupting my "me" time. I gave him a look, before turning the doorknob and going inside the apartment, pretending I didn't hear him. God this neighbors were retarded or something off...I quickly shut the door.

I could still hear him outside my door as well. What a creepy person...

I locked my door, turning on my lights and going straight to my bed. Time for internet and text. I could feel relief in my body. I didn't have to walk...

I opened my laptop, seeing I have several messages from friends. I sighed silently, seeing it was at least good friends and not random people. I smiled.

"_How did it go?" _One of my friends were asking me on Skype. I frowned, quickly typing to her. Least I could voice through typing and texting...

_"Not good at all. The state is apparently making them all my guardians because I dunno. State is stupid and all. Also I'm being forced to walk so soon after the accident."_

"_Thats ridiculous! Why? You're not that disabled! You're hurting so why are they doing that? Thats stupid!"_

I frowned more, feeling my eyes get teary again.

_"I don't know. I have no say in this either...Worst nightmare come true since I don't have a voice." _I waited a couple of minutes, my eyes getting tired. Finally, a response.

"_I'm so sorry Ailish..."_

My head bowed. I grit my teeth in agitation. I hated this. Thats all people could do was say "I'm sorry" and move on. Why wouldn't anyone help me?...

I got up, shedding my coat and going into the kitchen, trying to get a right mindset. Maybe I could imagine myself in the Hatters house making tea? Nah, I couldn't focus...

_"Hihihihiii~"_

I flinched myself up, bumping my head against the cupboard. I flinched and rubbed my head. I realized my phone had gone off...Almost sounded like he was right there. _God damn phone!_

About five minutes later my tea was finished. Now I needed to cuddle up with my mangas. I went to my bookshelf, picking out my mangas and tossing them on the bed. Now to crash for the night.

I sipped my tea as I flipped through pages of my manga. I could feel myself relaxing already. Finally. Some quiet time. But once again. I was left feeling sad. Why did anime characters never exist. You could only daydream, write stories...but it was never the real thing. My heart ached for the real thing. To be away from this world would be amazing...

_Hihihihi~_

I gave a annoyed huffing sound. _Stupid phone..._ I pulled out my phone from my purse, swiping the screen. I went to check my messages, only to see there was nothing... I blinked a few times. Oh right, my phone would always glitch. I needed a new phone...

Another problem to deal with. Since I couldn't talk to the people at the store...I hated always writing to people. My handwriting was shit. If only everyone could understand sign language.

I could find myself growing frustrated. I pursed my lips, before setting my tea on the end table. Maybe if I slept...

I grit my teeth and laid back, pulling the covers over me. I felt sick. I wanted my worries to just end. Maybe I could daydream before sleeping...I shut my eyes, trying to focus hard on my daydream. Where would I start? How about where I left off?

_I found myself again in the Hatters yard in the same chair. The hatter looked up, the smile back on his face."Back again dear?" He asked._

_I gave a silent nod, appearing sad. Hatter took notice of course. "Somethin' on your mind luv?" He asked in that silly voice of his._

_My eyes lowered. But I soon took notice that March Hare and The Sleepy Dormouse wasn't around this time. It was just me and him. Which was more then alright...I'd rather just talk to him..._

"_Do you wish to talk 'bougth this?" He asked me once more, seeming to show some form of sympathy. Of course he did, this was a daydream after all..._

"_I-I don't know if you would understand..." I stammered, feeling myself almost losing control of the daydream. I needed something, anything to keep me in my stable daydream. Why would he care anyways? I was just talking to myself. Why did any of this matter?!_

_I felt a hand touch mine and I looked up, seeing him taking my hand and gently rubbing it with his thumb. Wait, did I do that? Yeah. I did...I think... I stared at him, my voice suddenly gone from me._

"_Try me..." He said simply, releasing my hand. I noticed he placed a biscuit in my hand. I gave a weak smile and nibbled it. __I began to explain my problems, feeling more tired as time went on. Even if he didn't understand...He was there...always._

"_My, that is rather troublesome." Said the Hatter finally. I gave a nod, my eyes feeling heavy. I had a long day. I thought maybe rest would get rid of some of my stress but I wouldn't count on it..._

"_Gettin' tired poppet?" He asked softly, leaning on the table, his arms folded. I nodded again, giving a tired huff._

"_Why not rest then luvey? You need to gather some strength for the next Tea Party." He suggested, a wide silly smile on his face. Of course, the silly doofus..._

_I agreed, a smile returning to me. "That does sound nice..." I laid my head on the table, feeling the soft cloth under my face. I wanted to sleep here, where I felt needed and cared for._

_Hatter said nothing as my eyes closed, and my dreams soon took over. The daydream ended._

_Or so I thought..._

_**"Poor dear...Life is very cruel..."**_

_Hatter sat up, grabbing a cup of his tea. Could use some sugar... He grabbed a handful of sugar cubes, dropping them into the cup of tea, not caring he spilled it everywhere. "Smart choice indeed...Quite right. Real Life Isn't nearly so Sweet. Thats why we all crave a bit of sugar to sweeten things up..."_

_The tea reflected his face, only things seemed different. He wasn't wearing his silly hat. Or his regular outfit. But instead wearing a robe and a tailed top hat in the reflection. But of course he was still wearing his casual attire. It was like he was seeing an alternative version of himself. He then looked up to stare at Ailish's sleeping form, watching as she faded from this world to be in hers. She would return no doubt. She always did._

"_Rest well Ailish...I am waitin'."_

* * *

_((Cute fact, Ailish is the Gaelic name for Alice.))_


	2. Chapter 2

_I found myself in a dark forest, trees looking wilted and dead, thorns protruding from their branches. I would often come here to relax myself. The Dark Forest Of Wonderland as I called them..._

_I was sitting on one of the branches, luckily no where near one of the thorns. That would have hurt, haha. My legs swung back and forth as I was thinking about my day. I had just woken up. And I had nothing to do today. I might as well had daydreamed._

_I turned my head, hearing someone humming. I could only assume it to be the Cheshire cat. He would sometimes wonder through these woods, looking for someone to tease. I quickly disappeared into the wood of the tree, a trick I would do to hide myself from disturbances in my own mind so they would leave me. "Uuuusagii-saaaan! Ooooh? What do we got heeere?"_

_Unfortunately it didn't seem to work this time. A gleeful giggle and he pulled me from my hiding spot rather roughly. I gave a squeak, climbing up the branch and sitting again. "Oooh you~ Always hiding." Sang the Cheshire cat, his body swaying in a very sexual manner. He grinned wide, those sharp teeth of his gleaming. I gave a sheepish smile. "Sorry Cheshire." I sighed._

_"What are you doin' in my neck of the woods? Are you chasing after that fine man of a rabbit?" He asked with a suspicious look, which could only had meant the White Rabbit Sebastian. I gave a laugh. "Nah, I came here to think. I would never chase after your man, dear Cheshy." I promised._

_The Cheshire looked surprised. He sunk his body low, pretending he was laying down in mid air. His tail swayed in a curious manner. "My man? Oooh~ You flatter me so. You really think I have a shot with the Iconic White Rabbit my dear?"_

_I gave a smile. "Of course. I'm sure you could easily catch him if you wanted to. You fade in and out silly. I'm sure you could keep up with how fast he moves."_

_Cheshire perked, like he never thought of it before. "Oooooh oooh myyyy~ The chase of the cat and the Rabbit. Yes, I could see it now, the chase of the centuries!" I gave a look as his body swayed in a manner I found sexual. Oh crap, he was gonna go crazy._

_"The lengthy cat stalks it's prey, that is, the white rabbit! OOH! OOOOOH MYY! MYY!" He soon groped a tree branch, dry humping it. I facepalmed, shaking my head. Somebody give this cat catnip so he would leave me alone._

_"Dear Cheshire, you aren't botherin' poor Ailish are you?" Came a voice. I perked. Wait, did I think that up? Wow my imagination was strong... It was Hatter. He skipped in his walk, coming to us and looking up. A cute "o" formed in his lips. The Cheshire perked. "Ooohoo! A fine man among princes is heeere." He purred, crawling down to him._

_Of course, The Hatter ignored him, he was focused on me at the moment. "'Ello Ailish. What are you doin' out here? Were you lost?" He asked, obviously concerned for my safety. Cheshire pouted, crossing his arms and poofing out of existence. I gave a smile, before sliding off the branch, landing next to him. "No, I just came here to think. I'm alright." I said with a smile._

_He put his finger to his chin, appearing confused. "Out here? A bit of a dark place to think my dear." He commented. I gave a sad look. "I know..." I wanted to tell him my mind was honestly in a dark place itself. But I felt he wouldn't tolerate my sadness._

_"Well, enough thinkin', you got a Tea Party to come to! You're the special guest after all!" He sang, suddenly grabbing my arm and literally almost dragging me through the woods. I squeaked and laughed. Certainly had a strong grip. "How did you find me Hatter?" I asked him, just because._

_"You know me, luvey. I always know where you are. You give out a rather big announcement when you're here." He answered simply. I blinked, wondering what he meant by that._

_A sudden gasp and I fell forward into Hatter's back. He paused to look at me. He knew something was wrong. I gave a look of sadness before exiting the daydream._

* * *

I suddenly flinched, the daydream ending. I gripped my leg in pain. That walking had hurt me so much. I felt bad for leaving my daydream. I left Hatter waiting...

But the pain was too much to handle. I needed a pain pill...

I got up, wincing as pain shot up my back. How long had it been since the accident? A month ago? Maybe more? Why was I still hurting? Even though my braces for my leg and arm came off about two weeks ago, I was still in so much pain. Why? I would need to schedule an appointment...

Problem was, I couldn't talk. I would have to text staff to make the next appointment...Maybe I could get in today...

I sighed softly, going to my cupboard and opening the door. I looked at an assortment of pills, my eyes scanning. What pill would help me...

My eyes landed on a bottle of pills that read "Vicodin**."**

I didn't want those pills. They were addicting. But right now, I was in so much pain. I wanted them...

No, I couldn't.

I shook my head, taking a bottle of Aspirin instead. I had made the right choice. I didn't want to become addicted. And Vicodin always made me feel weird hours later.

I popped one in, not bothering to take water. I then returned to my bed, not wanting to get up. My daydreams were waiting for me anyways...

I pulled the covers over my head, breathing softly. My nose whistled. The air was stuffy today. My fan was going however. It comforted me. I needed noise...

My computer beeped with the familiar sound of Skype. I sighed, sitting up slowly. It was one of my girl friends, Aaron.

_"Good morning! Are you feeling better? :) "_

I felt saddened. No I didn't feel better. I felt terrible...I cracked my fingers, before typing. "_No, not really. I'm in a lot of pain and I want to nap for a bit longer."_

I waited for her response, feeling my eyes almost going cross eyed. A beep was soon heard.

_"Oh okay...I just...needed to talk to you about something."_

I narrowed my brows, feeling my heart starting to beat. Something was off with her typing. It worried me.

_"Whats wrong?"_

_"I haven't been feeling right. I owe so much money from college expenses...I can't find a job. I feel like my life has gone downhill...Dads also been beating me."_

I stared at the screen. She better not be mentioning something foolish.

"_No, you calm down. Why don't you roleplay with someone, or watch videos on Youtube? That always cheers you up. And Jesus Christ why don't you ever call someone when he beats you? Why isn't there shelters? Police?"_

"_I don't want to do anything right now. I can't focus. Theres no place for me to go. I told you." _

I gave a sigh. I didn't know how to help her. But perhaps...I began to type.

"_How about daydreams? Is there someone out there you really fancy, or love that you could daydream about to keep you company, to push you along?"_

I waited, laying back slowly into my bed. She didn't respond. I waited for several minutes. But still, no answer...I soon realized she must have gone AFK. SO she wouldn't be back for a while. Maybe this was my chance to relax?

I laid my head back onto the pillow, my eyes shutting. Perhaps I should find Hatter. I left him in a rude way and I felt I would need to apologize.

_**Beep.**_

I blinked, confused. I sat up, looking at the messages. She was back. _"I can't focus on anything. I'm sorry. I can't talk right now."_

I raised my eyebrows. Okay she was moody. I couldn't talk to her it seemed. This was normal however, I encountered people feeling down every single day. Nothing new...

_"Okay but I will be here."_

I then laid back into my bed, trying to get a grip on my daydreams. Some time to myself...

* * *

_I opened my eyes, finding myself laying down in the woods where I left Hatter last. I could feel my leg throbbing still. But it was easier to handle. I blinked when a face appeared in front of me, staring at me. It was Hatter. "You left so suddenly, dear Ailish." His long hair tickled my cheeks as he continued to hover over me._

_I gave a weak smile. "I'm sorry Hatter...I had to do something..." I admitted. The Hatter tilted his head. "Well, you're not leavin' this time 'round." I gave a gasp as he lifted me into his arms, before standing up. I gave a sheepish smile. "You're persistent, Hatter."_

_"You're the special guest in our Tea Party after aaallll~" He sang, holding me carefully as he walked. He was quite the strong man. He was the Hatter after all. My eyes watched the woods go past._

_I smiled a little, honestly feeling delighted I was invited. I flinched a little, making the Hatter perk and stop in his walk. "You alright poppet?" I gave a weak nod. Of course, he possibly knew I wasn't._

_He kept to his walk, a smile on his face. "Why you smiling so wide silly?" I asked him, only making him smile wider. "Plenty of guests have come to see you dear~"_

_"Is it my unbirthday?" I joked softly. Hatter snickered. "Not quite luvey." He sang, still walking. "Yah don't have to carry me yah know..." I reminded him. He just grinned and continued to walk, seeming to know I was in pain possibly. I couldn't force him to let me go it seemed..._

_But I was in control of my dream wasn't I? Eh, why did it matter. I was enjoying myself. I ended up closing my eyes while he walked. Only the Hatter would know how to get out of these woods. I would sometimes wing it._

_It felt like forever, just being in his arms. It felt comfortable. And I felt so comforted. I didn't want it to end. But the gate was approaching..._

_"We're here my dear." He said, pushing against the gates and walking into his yard. I looked surprised when I saw nearly everyone at the table, Cheshire, March Hare, Sleepy Dormouse, caterpillar, mushroom lady...Even the White Rabbit. How did The Hatter get them to behave? My mind was brilliant._

_I grunted when Hatter put me in a comfy seat, taking a seat next to me like he usually did. I didn't know if this was subconscious comfort. The Hatter suddenly smirked, giving clue he was up to something funny, at least for him. I then turned to the White Rabbit. "I haven't seen you in ages. How are you?" I asked. The White Rabbit smirked and gave a wink. "I've been around. I am quite well." She could see the March Hare glaring daggers toward him._

_I gave a smile, before looking to the caterpillar. "I missed hearing your stories. I hope you have more in the future." I said, bowing my head in respect. "And hello you beautiful mushroom." I said to his mate. The Caterpillar gave a nod. "I'm sure I have more stories up my sleeve."_

_"...Mushroom." His mate said plainly with a nod, making me giggle a little. _

_"Now!~" Came Hatters voice. __I suddenly gasped as a hat soon appeared on my head. The same hat Ciel wore. I tensed a bit. They were going to play games with me. I was terrible at quizzes._

_I gave a fearful squeak and took the hat off quickly. "No quizzes pleeeease?" I asked gently. Hatter laughed softly. "Aww~ But love we only want to celebrate our anniversary." He replied, smirking. I was puzzled. "Anniversary? Of what?" My mind was so complicated_

_"Of when you first arrived dear one. Only a year ago~" he sang, leaping onto the table and dancing about, his feet bumping and kicking food around. The plates and cups clattered loudly. "We only want to ask you a few questions luvey!" He gave a gleeful giggle._

_"Indeed." Spoke the White Rabbit. "Yes, Indeed." Said the caterpillar as well. I was blinking. Was it really a year ago? That was incredible how long I could remember. I really wanted to play, but was too scared. Hatter leaned down, placing the hat back on my head. "Now come on, you have some questions to answer for. Now tell me, why is a raven like a writing desk?" March hare pulled out his pocket watch. "Syncing time start!"_

_I looked down, seeing a button ready to be pushed. He was counting down. I knew the answer. At least, the real answer. I slammed my hand on the button._

_"The first one to answer is Ailish!"_

_I spoke loudly. ""Because it can produce a few notes, tho they are very flat; and it is /nevaaaar/ put with the wrong end in front!" The group stared at Me, puzzled expressions upon their faces. As though they never heard that answer before. But soon, The Hatter's mouth curved into a wide grin. He then covered his mouth and giggled. The others followed suit. They realized what my answer had meant. I had pronounced "Never" as "Nevar." because it was Raven spelled backwards._

_Hatter soon fell on his rump, avoiding the pastries and clutching his sides in laughter. Their laughter was loud, and pleasant to my ears. I had succeeded with my answer. I gave a warm smile. I felt happy I made them laugh. "Oh...O-OH my EHEEE! I've now seen the face of ultimate bliss. " Twitched the Hatter._

_He then crawled to me, tears streaming down his face. "Oh my dear, you give us such wonderful laughs. Won't you please stay with us for a while? Will you continue to see us?" He pleaded. The others stared in expectation, as though hoping the same thing. I gave a small smile. Though it was a bit odd for my daydream to ask that. "If course I will Hatter...Promise." I said weakly. Though I had no idea what that would mean in the future._

_"Now, onto more fun things. We've all made you sweets! Best to start eatin' them." He gave a grin, jumping off the table, before ducking under the table, obviously to pop out somewhere at any time. He liked to spook Me. I reached and grabbed a sweetroll, taking a bite out of it. It was moist and perfect on my tongue. I smiled happily._

_The others joined in, a excited Cheshire hung off The White Rabbit's shoulders. I inwardly grinned. Cheshy must have gotten his attention finally. The White Rabbit was a bit of a proud person. I laughed again when March Hare reached with his garden sheer to hand me hot tea. "Thank you!" I giggled. I was happy again._

_Suddenly out of no where, Hatter had popped out from hiding, and was now in my face, startling me. He hadn't been so close before. That goofy grin never left his face. He soon shoved a biscuit into my mouth when I opened it to gasp. I squeaked and bit into it. He was so silly._

_But suddenly, to my surprise, I was shrinking down. Luckily I still had my clothes and they were shrinking with me. Wow my imagination was running wild today. When it was over, I stared up at the giant Hatter. "Why did yah shrink me!" I squeaked out in a tiny voice._

_The hatter looked puzzled, before lifting me up with his hands. "Must have used the wrong ingredients again. So sorry Ailish. But now you have a new perspective from there." He explained. I didn't fuss. He was right. I have gotten a new perspective from my tiny form. I was glad he wasn't crushing me. In fact he was incredibly gentle._

_I smiled as he set me on the table. Cheshire smirked, almost tempted to paw my small form. "She's tinier then a mouse. Shes quite adorable in this form." He noted. I gave a grin and ran across the plates, taking bites out of the sweets as I ran. Hatter gave a giggle, watching me go. I had amused him to no end today._

_But soon I looked up at a cup of tea I was too small to reach, and being silly, I hung onto the rim of the cup, only to have it tip over and pour tea onto my head. I squeaked and shook my head of tea. Hatter snickered. "You poor dear." He said, pulling out a hankerchief and tossing it on top of me. I squeaked and wiggled around under it, before peeking out. Hatter was grinning. "That wasn't niiiice!" I whined cutely._

_"Just teasin' lovely. Enjoy yourself now." He smiled fondly. I gave a smile back, before drying off in the hankerchief. I felt so hyper, being fill of sweets, and making people laugh. I felt so high as a kite. I didn't want it to end._

_Suddenly, everyone was looking up. Frowns appearing on their faces. I looked up as well, only to see it was entirely darkening. The sky rumbled loudly. The sun was disappearing. Was it...Going to rain? It NEVER rained!_

_Raindrops began to pour around them, the sound loud and clear to my ears. It was deafening. A huge raindrop landed next to me, startling me. "Hatter!" I gasped, completely afraid. The others were soon fleeing, covering their heads._

_Cheshire squeaked out. "Cats hate water!" He yelled, before poofing away. Hatter quickly grabbed me, putting me into a hidden pocket in his vest. I went quiet, afraid. My subconscious was fighting me. It was my depression pushing this onto me. And only Hatter could get rid of it._

_He quickly went inside his house, though rain could be heard pouring onto the rooftops. The house was condemned, but still had a thick roof. We were okay. Perhaps having rain was more of a gift, considering all the dead trees and grass outside..._

_"Well, that's somethin'..." Hatter said softly, a bit curious at the turn of events. I wondered what we would do now. I gave a soft gasp as I was pulled out by two fingers and set on a old table. I looked around. I couldn't remember the last time I had come inside. Last year possibly? It was still the same, dark, cold, creepy, fun._

_Hatter then lifted a lid on top of a plate, revealing several tiny cakes. I tilted my head, wondering just how many sweets Hatter had. He gave a smile, before handing me a cake. I took it with my tiny arms, before taking a small bite. It tasted like pure vanilla. I was surprised how I wasn't fat in my daydreams yet._

_I soon realized I was growing again, and quickly jumped from the table as I gave a sudden growth spurt. I was soon standing in front of Hatter again. I suddenly felt uncomfortable with how close we were. I may have loved Hatter...But now wasn't the time._

_He gave a small smirk, as though hearing my thoughts. "Are you cold Poppet?" He asked gently. I shook my head, feeling just fine. "I'm alright. I'm more worried about this rain. It came on so fast."_

_"Don't sweat the small stuff luvey. It's just rain. No harm done." He said simply, turning on his heels and walking into the main living room, His hair swaying. Various items lay strewn about. Items of the macabre side hanging from ceilings or from the mantel. I tilted my head, wondering about him. He did so much to help me, even if he wasn't real. It saddened me a bit that this was all from my mind._

_If only..._

_"I'll see you later Hatter...I have to go do something..." I told him. Earning a look from him, of curiosity. Possibly wondering where I would go. "I will be waitin'." He said gently. I gave a saddened look, before pulling out of the daydream._

_Hatter stood there, a frown appearing quickly on his face as Ailish left him once again. He had a feeling something was about to happen to Her...A dreadful turn of events. "...Such a sweet one..."_

I was once again in reality. Things were about to get worse, that I was sure of...

* * *

"The results are in. And it's not good. You were right, some fragments of bone are still in your legs and back. And it will be difficult to get them out." The doctor read from his laptop. I stared at the floor, my eyes glazed over. I once again would have to go through surgery. "Also the results are back with your vocal cords. They are still not ready to be operated on yet. Everything is still too tender."

I gave a nod, thinking it over in my head. Things were getting harder. My doctor then turned to me. "I still wouldn't walk for more then a hundred feet per day. And be still careful when eating solid foods." He said, going down the list of things for me to do. I felt saddened. I couldn't tell him I lost transportation from the company because he wouldn't care, or have pity on me...

"Have you been taking the Vicodin?" He asked me. I shook my head. It was a addictive drug. He looked puzzled. "Its' the only way to take the pain away. Do you have side affects?" He asked. _Uh yeah, the fact it makes you flipping insane..._

I gave a nod, and began to write on the whiteboard in my lap. I gave him the list of side affects. He looked puzzled still. "Would you rather keep your aspirin?" He asked. I gave a nod. "Alright, so we'll switch to aspirin for you...I'll call the pharmacy. It's still early so I'm sure they will have your medicine ready to go by the time you get there." He said with certainty. I gave another nod.

Soon, I was leaving the clinic, a sigh escaped me. My life was going nowhere at the moment. I just had to make it to the bus stop...Then I would be fine...

But my hope was short lived, as I neared the bus stop, the bus was already there. I tried to hurry myself. But the bus was already leaving. I was too late. I swallowed nervously. The next bus wouldn't arrive for another two hours...There was no one to text to come pick me up...

Another sigh escaped me. Soon enough I heard a rumble overhead. Then soon, rain began to pour. I went under the bus stop roof that was conveniently made for days such as this. I was having such a bad day. But I honestly loved the rain here at the coast. At least I got a lovely view of the ocean...

I was trying my hardest to look on the bright side of things. It looked beautiful yes. But hearing that overwhelming news from the doctor...  
I kicked my feet back and forth, trying to keep myself from having anxiety attack. I knew it wasn't over...I needed to go back to daydream land...But I couldn't...I couldn't focus...Even though I needed Hatter Or Undertaker more then anything... Though lately I had been clinging to Hatter...

Perhaps I could text a few friends. I pulled out my phone, going to the Skype app. I hadn't heard from my friend Aaron since she mentioned she was feeling a bit depressed. When I went to go look at my messages however, I saw she had still not messaged me. I left her a "Hello?" message just in case, just to show I was there for her. Time passed by, the rain seemed to be pouring harder now. I was getting extremely cold. Not even my heavy ass coat was helping me...

I soon scooted over when a man took a seat next to me. He wore a hoodie. A second coat, and sunglasses, both which bothered me. He seemed to be keeping to himself thankfully. His legs were crossed, his gloved fingers tapping his thigh. I continued to shiver, hiding half my face into the collar of my coat. I should have worn a hoodie myself.

"You alright?" Asked the stranger in a faint deep voice. I turned to look at him, before nodding. I had to be nice. I was nervous of strangers. I didn't want to upset anyone...

"Nah, You're shakin'. Here." Said the stranger, taking his second coat off and putting it around my shoulders. I was surprised at the kindness. I put my arms through the warm sleeves, finding quick relief. Oh this man was kind. I quickly pulled out my whiteboard, scribbling quickly. I showed it to him. _"__Thank you."_

He looked a little puzzled, as though surprised I was mute. "Are you mute?" He asked me. I was, but not for long. I wiped the whiteboard clean, before scribbling again._ "__For now."_

"Aaah I see. You're healin'..." He figured out, touching his chin. I gave a smile and a nod. "Times have changed so much. I'm sure you'll be able to talk again." Said the man with promise. I gave a warm smile. Here I was, lowest of the low...And a night in shining Armour had saved my ass.

I was lucky...

Soon, the roar of the bus was heard in the distance. The man perked. "Well...This is where I say "bye"... Keep the coat. You'll need it dearie." Said the man. I perked, pulling out my whiteboard, wanting to ask him his number or name. But when I looked up...

_He was gone..._

I sat there a few seconds, my wide eyes looking around. There...was someone there wasn't there? I wasn't losing my god damn mind was I? I looked at my jacket, seeing I was indeed still wearing the jacket he gave me...

The door opened to the bus, Quickly I got up and hobbled onto the bus, my mind dumbfounded. How did the guy leave so quick? Who was he? Who was this man that saved me from feeling so much worse?

I gave him my ticket, before taking a seat, my eyes looking out the window, staring at the ocean. I had missed my chance at making a friend...

* * *

I had no luck at the store, my meds did not come in yet. And I couldn't wait since the next bus was about to leave. So I knew I would have to get it the next day...

Upon arriving home. I noticed a paper tacked to my door of my apartment. I pulled it off, reading it, seeing it was a notice that I would get a inspection. I cringed inwardly, knowing my house was like the haunted mansion. God the looks they were gonna give me...

I crunched the paper in my hands, gritting my teeth. One more problem to deal with...But I couldn't complain still... others had it worse then me right? Yeah, just keep thinking that...

I shedded off my coat and the new one that was given to me. Now that I thought of it, the coat was very old fashioned, but very cute. It was a wool coat. Perfect for staying warm. But they always made me very itchy... Looked like it had the soft lining under it though.

I soon walked to my bed, falling over into the soft mattress and sighing. It felt good to be in bed. So soft...I nuzzled my face into my pillow, trying to focus on happy things.

**_BEEP_**

I blinked tiredly, hearing my Skype going off on my phone. Maybe it was Aaron...Hopefully. She hadn't talked all day...

I pulled out my phone, my eyebrows raising a bit. I saw a text, clear as day from Aaron's skype. But I knew it wasn't her.

_"Who are you?"_

My fingers quickly texted back, having a feeling her dumbass father had taken her Skype again. Great, what a pig. If I ever met this son of a bitch I would have strangled the fucker.

"_I'm Ailish. Aaron's bestie friend. Whats up." _I texted back with attitude. I wouldn't let some drunken old man fuck with me.

I waited for a long while, wondering how her dad found her Skype this time, did he beat the shit out of her again? Did the police once again refuse to help?

I soon heard another beep, my tired eyes glanced at the screen before looking away. But soon I paused, every nerve in my body was on fire. My stomach churned harshly. _No..._

My eyes looked back at the text again. Trying to read it correctly. The most impossible thing had just happened and I couldn't believe any of it. This was against what I knew about Aaron. _No... This wasn't right. No...NO NO NO NO! NOOOO!_

**"_Aaron killed herself this morning. Don't ever call this number or whatever the fuck this is. If you do I will file a restraining order against you."_**

_Aaron was dead...AARON WAS DEAD?! No! That couldn't be correct. Aaron was a strong person. That was impossible. No, the father was lying to make me leave Aaron alone._ No, I couldn't over react. I quickly texted back.

_"Don't fuck with me old man. Aaron is over eighteen and has every fucking right to talk with me. What did you do to her? I have your address cocksucker."_

But soon, I realized the father had figured out how to block me. I stared at my screen in disbelief. No...there was no way...Aaron wouldn't...would she? I sat up, my eyes welling with tears. This wasn't...This wasn't right...This had to be a nightmare. Aaron was just talking to me...

I quickly texted another friend, telling her all the information needed. She would call her for me. Since I could not speak. I waited, watching the rain fall outside. This was just a set up from the father. Aaron wasn't really dead...

But if she did...It was my fault. I...didn't...Stop her. Why didn't Aaron give more clues? She wanted to be alone. I didn't know...I didn't know... The fact that her last words was that she wanted to be alone...

A squeak of a sound escaped my throat. It was the only sound I could make. I wanted to shout into the rain of the pain I was feeling, building up in my chest. This had to be a lie. A sick lie. Why didn't I prevent this? It was my fault. I was not a friend at all. I was a horrible person.

As tears poured down my face, I got my final confirmation, in text.

**_Beep._**

"..._I'm sorry Ailish...she's **gone**."_

_I never deserved you, Aaron._


	3. Chapter 3

"_Hi Ailish! Isn't this convention awesome? Holy shit!" Spoke a brown haired woman with beautiful blue eyes. She gave a warm smile and hugged a rather shy Ailish. But quickly Ailish hugged her back. "Yes it is. I'm so happy to see you. I got you something." She said, quickly reaching into her bag and pulling out a plushie of Sebastian from Black Butler._

_Aaron's eyes went wide. "Oh my god you shouldn't have Ailish! He's so cute! Oh my god!" She squeaked as she cuddled the doll. Ailish gave a very warm smile, very happy she made her best friend overjoyed._

* * *

_"Anime time!" Squeaked Aaron as she opened the disk tray to her dvd player in the hotel room. Ailish smiled wide. "What anime?" She asked._

_"Black Butler duuuuur! Can never go wrong with it!" She laughed, before flopping onto the bed. Ailish bounced a little and laughed. "Okay!"_

_They stared intensely at the TV, grinning as they watched their favorite characters play out the scenes. "Theres uuuuunnie! Your maaaaan..." Giggled out Aaron. Ailish looked sheepish. "And theres Sebastian, your crazy demon."_

_"Hey I can't deny my demons got style, yours? Not so much." She dared to say, almost infuriating Ailish._

_"SAY-WHAT!? MY MANS GOT STYLE! HE GOT CLASS. HES A BAD ASS THAT STABBED YOUR EFFIN' DEMON IN THE BACK. OOOH WHAT NOW?!" She screeched, picking up her pillow to smack Aaron in the face. "WHAT NOW. EVEN YANA TOBOSO SAID HE'S THE MOST HANDSOME. WHAT NOW BIOOOOTCH!?"_

_Aaron was laughing uncontrollably. Her laughs being muffled by the pillows hitting her in the face. She was enjoying messing with Ailish's fondness for Undertaker._

"_I gotta do this more often!" Laughed Aaron as Ailish pouted. Aaron always tried to messed with her emotions. She would poke fun at Undertaker so much. But soon, a smile crossed over her face. "You're such a butt butt." She laughed._

"_Always." She replied._

* * *

_I never deserved you Aaron..._

I stared off into nothingness as I thought about my friend. So much was going on...She just suddenly killed herself...

I was losing everything, my friends, my life... And my sanity.

I never thought Aaron would do it. She always seemed so strong...I should've been there for her. I could have prevented this. Why wasn't I there?

_I never deserved her..._

I stared off into space as doctors began to get to work on me. I was laying flat on my side. A X ray machine checking my back, looking for fragments of bone chips. They were still prepping me up before surgery. I was in my nightgown, cold as fuck. I was numb inside my heart after what happened to Aaron.

I had lost everything didn't I...I lost transport, a friend, my mind...My daydreams...

I was comfortably numb...

I felt sick. I felt dizzy. I felt alone...I just wanted the surgery to be over. Sad part was that I had no ride. I would have to walk again...So soon after surgery...Luckily...Tomorrow would be a fine day.

It would be a quiet day...Hopefully no one would disturb me while I rested in the hospital bed.

I kept thinking about things that had happened this week. Everything had crashed upon me. Would it end? Would it come to a crawl? Perhaps not. It would probably get worse, knowing me.

The doctor was scribbling something on a paperpad, the sound loud against my ears. It was hasty, showing they were trying to hurry this along. No doubt they knew how scared I was. Surgery was not a fun thing after all...

If Aaron was here...She would have done something funny to cheer me up...

But no, I'd never see her smiling face again...

"Alright, the nurse will be here soon to administer the shot, alright?" Asked the doctor, and before I could nod, he was already onto doing something different. It was fine as I was not in the mood to talk or do much of anything.

I need to relax. My muscles were tensing, my stomach was lurching with the butterflies.I was desperate, I was desperate to be in that one place. That one special place we're nothing could hurt me. Where could not be judged. Could never be hated. Where I was always needed.

My mind palace. My daydreams...Hatter...

I simply closed my eyes...And quickly imagined me being there...Only...things were wrong...

* * *

_Again, I was in wonderland...I was outside Hatter's house. It was raining harshly. I had never seen it rain before in wonderland Well, not since three weeks ago... This was not the good kind of rain. The ground was becoming muddy and horrible._

_My depression had made it rain. I felt horrible for Hatter, making it rain so bad. I walked up to the door of his house and knocked loudly, knowing his was there. "HATTER!" I called, wondering if my mind would allow me to see him this time, after all I had been through a lot and was about to go through surgery. Only twenty minutes and they would put me under...This was the only time to say hello again._

_The door creaked open, revealing Hatter in his usual attire. He seemed almost pleasantly surprised to see me. "'Ello Ailish..."_

_"..." I could feel my eyes well up with tears. I was so glad to see him. It had been too long. Much too long. I could feel my emotions getting the better of me._

_The Hatter frowned, almost able to sense my growing sadness. "Ailish? What are you doin' out here? Come inside dear." He said in his gentle voice._

_I suddenly couldn't take it anymore as I literally fell forward, hugging Hatter tightly to me. My grip was strong and hard, my intention showing I did not want him to leave me. "H-Hatter..." I cried out softly. _

_The Hatter quickly held me to his chest, a free hand gently petting my head. His expression was obviously puzzled. "My dear Ailish...What has gotten into you luv?" He asked softly, though he knew I was in some sort of turmoil._

_I couldn't tell him. I couldn't explain to him that my friend died. I couldn't. I couldn't ruin everything. I couldn't..._

_Hatter's expression remained puzzled, yet concerned. He needed to get her to talk. "Ailish... lets get you inside. You'll catch a death of cold out here. A spot of tea should help you." He said, his arms guided me inside, almost having to drag me. It continued to pour harshly outside._

_There was a moment of silence after he shut the door, before he slowly let go of me. My hand still gripped his sleeve however. I slowly spoke. 'Where is everyone Hatter?"_

_"Well, March hare went back to his burrow to escape the rain. Dormouse is possibly hiding in a tree hole somewhere safe. Cheshire you never have to worry about. White rabbit is never bothered by such rain. And I assume Caterpillar and his mate are taking shelter under a mushroom somewhere..." He then gave a small shrug. "And I'm here. As always."_

_I gave a small weak nod. I caused the rain, it was my fault...I ended up following him wherever he went in the house. Even when he made tea. I was like a child, being so quiet and clinging to him. I said nothing the entire time. Hatter seemed alright with the silence for the most part._

_His hair swayed softly when his moments. His eyes so carefully hid under his fringe. I hadn't honestly seen his eyes in a while, because I never asked. I never wanted to bother him about it. Even though...Hatter never complained...He soon handed me a cup of warm tea. I blinked slowly, before taking the warm cup. I sniffed it softly, wondering what the tea was. It smelled familiar. I wasn't sure. I wasn't bothering with my senses. I was too hurt..._

_"It's Chamomile luv...I put in two cubes for you. Have a sip. It will calm you." He promised, leaning back against the stove, his fingers tapping it lightly. His nails making loud clicks. He certainly was being pushy, yet fatherly to me today._

_I stared at the cup, unsure. I was totally annoying him, being so sad and down. I shouldn't have shown up. And On a day like this. I wasn't helping anyone but myself and that was selfish! I was a selfish-_

_I was suddenly surprised when Hatter cupped my hands with his. He was gentle, never squeezing or being too firm. "Luvey..." His voice deepened into a tone I didn't recognize._

_I tensed, feeling as though he would shout hateful words toward me. Would my daydreams turn against me as well? There was no place to run, no place to hide. No place to seek comfort for me. I was a wretched soul._

_But my emotions were soon to be quelled. My eyes suddenly widened at what he did next. Every nerve in my body was shot. I felt my body become hot and sweaty the second it happened. And my cheeks became completely red._

_He leaned in, as though to say something quiet to me, only to plant a kiss on my forehead. It was gentle, soft and warm. It was affectionate, loving...It completely blew me away and caught my emotions in my throat. I felt my stomach lurch with the butterflies. Hatter had not shown his affections towards me in such a long while._

_When he finally pulled away I stared at him dumbfounded, as though I was a deer stuck in the headlights of an oncoming car. Nothing mattered but him in that moment. A coy smile was on his face, as though pleased he caught me offguard._

_His hands remained on mine, but soon brought the cup to my lips, almost forcing me to drink. "Drink luvey...You are not entirely helpless as you think you are..."_

_I was shocked that he knew this. But shouldn't have. This was my daydream. Hatter knew almost everything about me. He knew how to calm my emotions. I shouldn't have been so surprised. I could almost feel my anxiety fading as I drank the tea finally, the gentle taste of chamomile and sugar filled my mouth. I soon gulped it down, being slow about it._

_"Thats it. Now, take a seat with me. We must talk." He said softly, taking a seat on his black couch decorated with skulls and stripes, matching his pants. It wasn't even close to being called tacky..._

_I slowly walked over, before taking a seat. My eyes were staring at the floor, not wanting to meet his face. I was afraid..._

_Hatter sighed softly, but not out of irritation. "Ailish luv, You have been gone for ages...Things have been so quiet without you here. It's been rainin' ever since you left...Somethin' is on your mind..." He said in his gentle voice._

_I kept my eyes downcast, unsure how to tell him. The pain I suffered...What had happened to my friend...My worst nightmare had come to happen. Nobody wanted what I went through._

_"Ailish...There are no secrets here...Not with me." He said suddenly, startling me. My eyes welled up with tears again. I just couldn't tell him. He wouldn't want to hear it. _

_I briefly existed the daydream, my eyes looking towards my nurse who was readying the anesthesia. I bit my lip and looked away, I hated needles..._

_I grit my teeth as I felt the needle insert into my skin, reminding me that I was still alive. She then pushed the fluid into me. In a minute, I would become sedated, then pass out. Then they would numb me up and get to surgery._

_I quickly entered the daydream, seeing Hatter was still waiting for me. I swallowed nervously. This was my only chance to explain. I couldn't lie to him. I didn't care anymore that he would possibly be offended. Finally, I spoke, tears rolling down my face._

_"H-Hatter...I...Lost A friend..." My voice broke, my hands gripped my pantlegs, my knuckles turned white from the force._

_Now Hatter was concerned. This wasn't just a loss of friend, it was more then that. This wasn't a friend that simply moved away... "Lost...How?" He asked, his nails tapping his chin. Ailish was visibly grief stricken. He had not seen her this way before. This had hit her hard..._

_"S-She..." I could feel my body become weak and strange. I was losing my voice a bit. "E-ended...her life..." _

_I suddenly swayed, the word was spinning bright colors. The medicine was taking affect. I would be asleep soon. I felt high almost. But still emotionally hurt and was still almost conscious._

_I swayed and fell onto my side on the couch, my eyes slipping shut. Everything became dark. Sleep was coming...I could see the doctors closing in...Along with Hatter reaching for me... before everything went black._

_**"Alright, she's out, lets numb her up and get to work."**_

_Hatter eyed Ailish as she passed out on his couch. He figured something was happening in the real world. Oddly, she wasn't leaving to her world. This meant one thing._

_She was about to dream._

_He leaned over her, gently putting his hands under her and lifting her up. He noticed she was completely limp as he was keeping her head up carefully into his chest. Poor Ailish, ever since she arrived a year ago she had done so much._

_She was so shy, yet held incredible strength. And she was always giving such prime laughter. She was different from the other Alice's..._

_The name Alice was just a title for any random person that entered wonderland. Usually they were female. The last Alice to enter was in fact, a young boy. He never knew the boys name but he gave him plenty of laughs that day._

_But this Alice..._

_His fringe parted only slightly from his eyes as he peered at the sleeping face of Ailish. He knew she was emotionally hurt by something. Her tears had not dried and were in fact, still going down her face._

_This Alice he held in his arms was different...Much different._

_Ailish was completely random, unique, strong. Something the other Alice's never had. The first Alice to ever enter was a bit of a nuisance. She held no mannerisms and had no backbone. Sure she gained it in the end but still did not learn her lesson and shrugged it off as nothing important._

_Ailish was indeed shy but when something didn't agree with her, she sure stood up for herself. But still maintained gentleness. She didn't truly rely on Hatter for everything...She was strong and she would never believe it. Even though she had suffered a great loss, she tried her best to remain happy, just for everyone else._

_With a clack of his heels, he carried her through the house, his movements gentle. He wasn't sure how long she would remain in this state, but he would take care of her in the meantime. It was nothing to him._

_He paused in his walk, his hidden green orbs of eyes gleaming brightly. He peered at the broken glass window, seeing it was raining harder now. It had been raining for weeks. And quite frankly, it irritated him how he couldn't have a tea party with his comrades...He was the Mad Hatter afterall, who hosted Mad Tea parties..._

_"A-Ah...A-Aar...A-Aar...on..." Came Ailish's meek voice._

_Hatter lowered his gaze, staring intensely at Ailish. This was wrong. All wrong. Ailish was not herself. Ailish had not told him everything yet. This needed to end soon. He needed her to break free. He needed his tea parties..._

_"...It begins soon...Ailish..." Came his voice, his eyes hidden again and looking grossly overshadowed. His face showed no emotion. The rain poured harshly, furthering the situation. Ailish gave no response, but tears kept pouring from her closed eyes._

_Thunder roared through the lands of Wonderland. People closed their windows, preparing for the harsher wave of rain._

* * *

_**~The Queens Castle~**_

_"Grelle, how long has it been raining?" Came a female voice who's face was covered by a black veil. She was tall, elegant looking. She wore a long red dress that was decorated with hearts. She wore a corset that flattered her bust as well._

_She was looking at a man who's hair was brown and had brilliant green eyes. He had a red bow in his hair to show he was a servant of the red queen. He seemed rather pathetic and incredibly nervous in her presence._

_"T-Three weeks...Your majesty..." He stammered, a bit of sweat running down his cheek. The queen laid back on her chair, laying her cheek on her close fisted hand. She would have been so beautiful, if not for her leering and intimidating nature."Yes...It's been a bit dreary, Theres been a shortage of "off with their heads" days. It's rather...annoying." She said with a darkening hint._

_Grelle stiffened visibly. "Y-Yes my queen. I agree completely. But the f-flood has prevented us from doing our usual scouting of law breakers." He struggled to explain._

_"Then why not find the cause of the rain? It never rains here in Underland. At least, never in /my/ territory." She said, becoming s bit bored._

_Grelle was losing his cool. The flood was not safe to just blindly wander into. Lives could be lost. What was his queen thinking? She was surely going mad from the flooding. "Y-Yes Of course... My queen." He swallowed nervously. He couldn't argue with her._

_She rolled her eyes, wondering why she had such useless servants. They could never get anything done for her it seemed. "Good. Now off with you. Your presence irritates me."_

_"Yes, of course! Right away!" He squeaked out, scampering off. He didn't want to be next on her list of executions. Since there was plenty of Grelle's in this world._

_The queen gave a sigh, now irritated. The rain would never let up would it? It had not rained for so long in Underland. It was curious. Why would it rain? Season's came and went. But sudden rain like this...So violent._

_Her hidden eyes suddenly went wide. It couldn't be. But it had been so long since the last. She grit her teeth, eyes becoming enraged. "An Alice..." She growled through her teeth. Once in a while, an Alice would be thrown into Underland to try and take her throne. Or would try to contend with her. She despised outsiders._

_These Alice's that came in would be so strange, getting into things and spreading stories of the outside world to try to make her servants revolt against her._

_"Not this time. I'll find her this time and dispose of her." She promised herself. This time, Alice would NOT get away. "I'll find you girl, and remove you from existence. There will be no more of you to come once I break this curse. Beware."_

* * *

_I was briefly aware of my body meeting soft fabric. A deep voice was talking in the background. It seemed so far away...Yet..._

_Like it was in the room with me...I could smell something sweet nearby. Something warm touching my forehead. My eyes opened once in a while, seeing random swirls of colors and shapes. It was nothing to make sense of._

_It continued for a while, everything was so blurry. I let out random sounds or words that made no sense to me. But what was curious, was that another voice was responding to me._

_I didn't know who it was, but it was comforting to me. It didn't sound threatening to me._

_In fact..._

_It sounded very...familiar...Did I know...this person?_

_I let out a sudden confused noise, only to hear more from the stranger, soft coos met my cries. I couldn't move, couldn't make sense of where I was. I was completely limp. I felt so helpless, like an infant crying for it's mother._

_What was worse, was the pain I was feeling in my back and leg. It was throbbing, skin piercing. And so ungodly hot. A sudden panicked noise escaped me again. Only it came in squeaks. Was there something wrong with my throat? Why did I sound so strange?_

_I thought I saw pale strange hands reaching for me, along with a swirl of colors and lights. Like some angel was trying to hold me in it's embrace._

_Only I wanted nothing to do with this strange ethereal being. I gave a sudden scream and felt my body lurch away from the creature. But the pain returned in my weakened body and I gave a shrill scream. Where was I?_

_I thought I saw the creature recoil from me, as though a bit startled from my scream. I slurred out a bunch of words at it, warning it to stay away. My body was on fire at this point. I could barely breathe now. My body wasn't working. I couldn't move, barely breathe. I wanted the torment to end._

_I felt warm liquid on my face, or what I could feel from my face. Everything was almost numb. What was happening? I couldn't open my eyes. I couldn't do anything! I wanted to cry for help. But couldn't make any words form from my mouth. All I could do was scream and cry, like a helpless blind infant..._

_I heard footsteps recede from me, heavy loud footstep which burned my ears. Even though they were far...far away...All my senses were shot to hell. It seemed like forever, just being in this idle torment. Everything was just getting worse._

_Help me. Oh god. Help me! This pain...Please! Let it end!_

_Suddenly, as if out of nowhere, I felt arms around me, or what I thought was arms. They didn't feel hurtful. In fact, it seemed to be taking my pain away. My eyes couldn't see who it was. But I saw a bright golden light showing through my eyelids. Was this the creature from before?_

_I let out a weakened cry, still showing fear of this being. I had no idea who it was after all. Even if it was gentle, it could have just been trying to hurt me in the end._

_"Ailish..." Came a echoing voice. It was deep. My ear felt warm. Something was happening. Was this a voice? No, it must have been a random sound._

_"Ailish...luvey..." Came the sound again, and once more my ear was warm. I let out a grunt, as though confused with the strange sound. Ailish, what was that? What was the meaning? I felt the embrace thicken, almost suffocating me. I felt something moving all around me._

_"...Drink Ailish..." Came the strange sound again. Why is my ear warm? Something was making it warm. Was it pleasant? Was it okay? What was it doing to me? Once again I let out a whimper boiling pain went down my back and I lurched my entire body into something warm. I felt it tightened around me, and I felt almost threatened._

_But soon I felt something faintly warm against my nose and lips. And before I could protest, something was slipping down my throat. Something I couldn't smell and it tasted awful. A choked noise escaped me and a bit of warm fluid ran down my chin. But something wiped it away quickly._

_"Thats it..." Came the sound again. Was it an encouraging sound? It sounded like it. Was it wrong? Was it leading me into a trap of more pain? It had to be. I once more let out a squealing shriek. I wanted it to let go of me, yet remain. I couldn't make up my mind. To be utterly alone? Or be embraced by something you can't see or understand?_

_"**Good, We've gotten out most of the fragments. Lets keep going."**_

_Wait, that was a different voice...What was happening? I wanted out of here. I wanted to be away from everything. I w-wanted..._

_I gave more fearful shrieks of terror, only to feel burning hands all around me. As though to offer some twisted form of comfort. I suddenly felt a burning sensation in my stomach. And before I could shriek, I felt something rancid, disgusting and burning escape my mouth. A gurgling sound was only heard._

_"**She threw up. Get the kidney dish."**_

**_"What is that? She didn't eat anything before the surgery."_**

**_"I don't' know but it smells horrible."_**

**_"We should administer more anesthesia..."_**

_There was the sounds again...it sounded faint this time. But yet...Clear...What was happening again? Things...Felt...better. Where was I? A softer noise escaped me. It was more of a mewl though. The pain was fading, the loud horrible noises were leaving me. My senses were almost dying, before leveling out._

_"...Shusssh..." Came a sweet voice. A voice that I had been hearing for most of this time... the same one that was trying to help me. To try and save me...To relieve me of my terrors. Why had I resisted it? I was so terrified. My ear was once again warm. Someone was right next to me...Or was...holding me..._

_I suddenly felt it didn't matter anymore, as I suddenly felt incredibly relaxed. The pain was gone. Everything was gone. I didn't give a shit about anything anymore. I felt high. I felt really good. It was like being incredibly doped up on Vicodin..._

_I was once again overcome by darkness. I was out like a light. And was soon dreaming. Or at least, I thought I was. Which was the dream now? It didn't matter..._

_**It was time to open my eyes.**_

_Slowly, my eyelids lifted, my pupils shrinking and constricting. My irises sparkled from the faint light lightly hitting my face. I soon closed my eyes again, feeling heavy and weak. Yes...I was dreaming and being conscious about it. I was lucid dreaming..._

_But where was I again?_

_Slowly I opened my eyes again, my brain trying to process what I was seeing._

_Skin...nails...Hands...My hands..._

_I was seeing my hands, which were curled slightly by my face. I was laying on my side, staring at a wooden wall, which appeared old with wear and tear. I could see the individual cracks._

_A grunt escaped my throat, which felt oddly sore and I could taste something foul on my tongue. Was it...vomit? Why would I be tasting vomit?_

_My ears were picking up on a sound. It was thunderous. It was loud and hitting the ceiling above me. Rain, was it? Why would it rain?_

_I could feel fabric under me. I was warm, completely warm. And very comfortable. So comfortable...I felt like sleeping there forever._

_Slowly, my eyes moved to the right, seeing the wall still going all around me, revealing I was in some type of bedroom. Skulls and books of several kinds decorated the room. A slightly blocked off window was my only light._

_Thump thump thump..._

_I took me moments to realize I was in Hatter's house. And I could hear him shuffling about in the kitchen...My dreams brought me here..._

_I felt weakened. I couldn't move my body much at all. All I could do was move my eyes and head. My fingers felt almost not even there._  
_I had never had an actual dream about Hatter before. I would have no control over him this time...Only my subconscious would._

_I heard the sound of approaching footsteps and I tensed softly. Who was that? Was it Hatter? I wasn't even paying attention. I didn't want a nightmare..._

_I heard the footsteps soon come to a abrupt halt near the bedroom. Or was it IN the bedroom?_

_"My my Ailish...Up so soon?" Came the Hatter's deep voice. I quickly eased my tension and sighed in relief. I wanted to speak, but couldn't find the strength..._

_"No matter. I am glad to see you're faring well." Came his voice. And soon he walked into my vision. It was him, in his classic outfit... His goofy smile...And his crazy top hat. A soft sound escaped me, hoping he could hear me._

_"You were sufferin' so..." His hand gently glided down my cheek comfortingly. I sighed softly. It felt so real. "You sounded like such an infant...I had to pull out my New Moon Drop tea for you..." He explained._

_I looked curiously at him, seeming confused on what that was, New Moon Drop? What was that? It sounded strange and unfamiliar to me. Hatter tilted his head at me, as though concerned as to why I wasn't talking. "Luv?"_

_I let out a soft grunt, it was all I could do at this point. He quickly understood however, "Ahh...Your exhausted. I can see why as you were inconsolable and moving about so violently." He said as he tapped his chin. "Luckily I have just the thing..."_

_I was entirely confused at this point. What did he mean I was inconsolable? Wait...I did remember feeling a shit ton of pain a while ago. I could barely make heads or tails what was happening. I remember hands holding me, something put to my lips..._

_That make me vomit harshly. Thats why I could taste the vomit in my throat. But what. This made no sense. This was a dream...Wasn't it?_

_Hatter could read Ailish's expressions. He could tell she was rather confused. She would understand later. But for now. He needed to get her on her feet or at least feel more comfortable._

_I watched as Hatter reached into his \vest, soon pulling out a tiny cute sweetroll. I was surprised when he pressed it to my lips. "Try this Ailish..." Came his sweeping voice. My tongue poked out to lick it. I could taste the sugar on my tongue. I didn't know if I could honestly stomach it. But I wanted to try. _

_I honestly felt a bit foolish in the predicament I was in. He was babying me. I felt weak and sick and disgusting. And...Hurt...Beyond anything._

_I fund myself unable to eat the sweetroll. Tears glided down my face. I felt bile collect in my throat and I made soft whimpering sounds. I felt screwed up. I couldn't control my emotions anymore it seemed._

_Hatter watched me, his lips formed a soft frown. I knew he was confused about my sudden burst of emotions. Because I was always happy with him, making jokes, running around hyper and smiling..._

_The fact I couldn't be that way at this moment, it hurt. I couldn't be the happy Ailish he wanted. I wanted to say how sorry I was, how foolish I was. He had helped me so much, even though I always thanked him, it would never be enough to me._

_But why did it matter? Wasn't it just a dream? I mean it was clearly different from reality..._

_It took me seconds to realize that Hatter was leaving my side, and away from my line of vision. I felt my stomach lurch. I didn't want to be alone. I didn't want him to go. My eyes widened. My mouth opened wide as I screamed my loudest._

_"N-NO!"_

_The noise was deafening. I heard Hatter's feet stop thumping against the floor. He had heard me. I felt all my muscles tense and twitch from the shock of forcing that word out. I breathed heavily._

_"Noooo? Did you want me to stay, Ailish?" Came his voice. Thought something about his tone gave clue he was fucking teasing me. The bastard left on purpose...just to make me talk._

_I made a soft sound,hoping it would be enough to sway him to stay. But unfortunately he was not so easily swayed. A soft giggle escaped him. "Can't hear you Ailish~ I'm afraid I'm hard of hearin'." He teased further. I grit my teeth. What a ass._

_"STAY!" I growled out, knowing Hatter was just trying to bring my energy back. My eyes narrowed on the sweetroll still by my mouth. I growled and bit off a chunk, swallowing it hesitantly. I soon heard Hatter burst into a fit of laughter. "You are such a wonder. Whats the magic word dear?"_

_Oh my god, when I got enough strength...I was gonna fucking sock him. "Pleeeease stay." I growled, getting annoyed a bit. I could feel myself almost losing control over my lucid dreaming. I had to keep going._

_My hands gripped the sheets, turning white at the knuckles. I needed Hatter to stay with me. I needed to start moving. But holy shit was was I so weakened?_

_"So feisty today. You poor dear." Came his voice, which was close to me. I looked up briefly, seeing him standing by me. I gave a very annoyed grunt and laid my face into the pillow._

_He watched me for a bit, as though contemplating something. My eyes kept glancing to him, staring at his hidden face. How I wished to be stronger..._

_"Hatter...are you mad at all?" I asked him, sadness filling my eyes. No doubt he was. I had been such a pain. Causing great depression upon the people of wonderland._

_He didn't answer me, which made my stomach churn in depression. I had most definitely upset him. I didn't want to cry. I didn't want to be sad. I had always maintained happiness with Hatter._

_"Ailish, why do you doubt yourself?" Came his voice, which was now behind me. I could feel his breath in my ear. I gave a weak gasp and tears fell from my face. He was so quick and why was he behind me?_

_I felt my stomach flip at what he did next. For his arms wrapped around my torso. I could feel the strength in his arms. My eyes were widening. He hadn't done this in such a long time. Not since..._

_Not since that one night I wanted him desperately. I had a one night stand sort of thing with Hatter. I was upset. He was there, he wanted me to be happy. He took my hand and the bed was right there..._

_But I didn't want that now._

_"Ailish..." Came his beautiful voice again. His warm breath tickled my ear. It was gentle. He wanted an answer from me. I couldn't figure out the answer. I was always one for smart remarks or giving a joke but this..._

_I had hit rock bottom. I was in grief. I was depressed. Everything had been taken from me. I felt like the world was against me. And that was a stupid thing to think about. The world wasn't against me. I knew that. But it hurt. Was it such a sin to feel this way for a while?_

_"I don't know Hatter. I'm hurting. I can't get away from the pain." I admitted, a sob broke through my throat. Everything felt...lost. I was lost. I had no one to guide me through this. Hatter was the only one I trusted the most. Even if he was just a anime character or not real..._

_He was the only one for me at this moment._

_Hatter was entirely quiet. As though he was never there or had left. But the soft tickling of his hair on my neck reminded me he was still there by my side. His voice was soft and gentle when he finally spoke. This time it sent hills down my back._

_"Then let me help you get away..." He said. I soon felt him pull me on top of him. His body was warm and soothing. I was startled. It felt so real. I could feel the fabric of his outfit. I could feel his skull bow tie pressing into the back of my head. I could feel the muscles beneath his outfit._

_"H-Hatter..." Came my soft voice. What was he doing?...This was odd._

_"Just relax for a bit luvey. Too much is on your mind..." He said carefully, his mouth remained a soft smile. I was still a bit confused. He sure was being so kind...Not that I thought he wasn't...Hatter was different from the Undertaker. Hatter was more playful, kind, gentle, silly. He wasn't like the psychopath in Kuroshitsuji. Perhaps that was why I loved to be with him more then his counterpart. But I could never deny that Undertaker came first. Hatter was his Alternative universe self. But I loved him more dearly._

_Something about Wonderland made me feel...home._

_Was it the orange skies I saw so much when coming here? Was it the tea parties? Was it the beautiful wind I felt in my face? Was it the dead trees? Was it the fact I was never unwelcomed?_

_When I felt Hatter's bony hands gently entwine with mine, I knew the answer. It wasn't just Wonderland..._

_It was Hatter himself..._

_I loved Hatter, more then anything else in this world. More then my life. More then anyone I ever met. Hatter never failed me. He never left me. He never forgot me. Because Hatter was mine. My conscious. My inner self._

_It hurt that he wasn't real. That all of this was a dream. That he would never come to life. And even if he did, what would make me think he would even want me? I was just a simple person, complaining about nothing. I was nothing to him._

_"Ailish...Enough of those thoughts. This is a happy dream." Came Hatter's voice. I grunted, startled he could hear my thoughts. But why did it matter. He wasn't real..._

_"Why...Why can't you be real..." I said and grit my teeth. I could feel my chest swell with depression and grief. He would never be real and I would never be happy. It was foolish, to be chasing a fairy tale and not living because of it._

_Hatter's mouth formed into a small frown. He wished to tell Ailish if his existence. He wished to tell her he was quite clearly alive. But it still wasn't time yet..._

_But still...if this continued to happen...She wouldn't have time at all and would possibly end her own life. He wanted to believe Ailish was stronger then her friend. But Ailish's eyes were darkened. She was losing that spark of life._

_She was losing time._

_"And who's to say...that I am not real..." Came Hatter's voice. I blinked in surprise. What did he mean by that? Hatter wasn't real. He never was. Why was I even dreaming of him still..._

_I said nothing, staring off into space. I felt worthless..._

_Suddenly, I was being moved. He let go of my hand. Hatter turned me over onto his body, my face was now being pressed into his neck. His skull bow tie was easily felt again. My hands gripped his vest. He was still warm. And very comfortable._

_"Is it such a terrible thing that I am not real? Do you really wish for me to exist? Then how do you believe me to not be real? You can feel my touch, hear my voice. And you can see me clear as day...Is that not enough for you?" Came his cryptic voice in my ear._

_I felt myself tearing up. Of course it was enough. Of course he was...But...He couldn't be real because he was made up. A womans story book. He was just not real..._

_"Ailish...You said it yourself...When something is created...it becomes alive and full of existence in another dimension of time. What if your dreams are the gateway to me? I could possibly be very real...And very much alive..." He hinted, trying not to give too much away. He wanted her to be hopeful again. He needed to change her depression..._

_I could feel his hands gently rubbing my back, adding more comfort to my broken heart and mind. His words had some affect on me. I wanted him to be real. I could feel him breathing. I could feel his warmth. I...could feel his love._

_I felt him gently wipe my tears away with his right hand. I shut my eyes tight and whimpered softly. "I-I...want...you to be real...You...have given me so much to look forward to after a long day...You give me attention...Hope..." His hands never stopped stroking me. He didn't seem surprised by what I said._

_"You're incredibly kind Ailish...You put others ahead of you because you believe they are more important then what you are feelin'...It's not just kindness...It's heroic...You show concern at the slightest hint of someone being hurt. You may believe you couldn't help your friend...You may feel responsible...But in the end...the decision to take her life was her own..."_

_I listened, though...In my heart. I still felt her death was my fault. I Should have messaged her more. I should have said something more meaningful. I should have told her how much she meant to me. I should-_

_I blinked in confusion at what Hatter was doing. My body tensed and turned hot at his actions. My cheeks turned incredibly red. He had leaned forward, and was kissing my lips. His mouth so wide, firm and gentle was now kissing mine? Why? Why would he kiss me?_

_Hatter was taking an incredible risk in giving her such hope and attention such as this. Hatter was not supposed to be doing this to outsiders like Ailish. Wonderland was a place for humans to grow and learn life lessons on their own. They were never to stay in Wonderland. The Red Queen was the villain, the darkness that clouded Wonderland. The outsider was always to fight her. Wonderland was seemingly created for this purpose. But they never won..._

_But here he had taken a liking to her, which was odd. But not completely odd. If he didn't try to keep Ailish alive...She wouldn't learn to grow. And Wonderland would be in ruins again. Someone needed to defeat the Red Queen. She had never been defeated. People would die, people would be lost over and over...Not that he seemed to care, but lately the Red Queens servants had been a tad annoying...Interrupting his tea parties..._

_Ailish seemed to be the only hope. He couldn't afford for her to slip away. In a way, he was almost using her...Almost._

_"M-Mhpph H-Hatter-" My words were silence when he kissed me more harder. He was really trying to help me. I felt my heart break for him. He seemed to really care for me. He was trying his hardest to break me out of this depression._

_Tears slipped from my eyes and my arms slowly wrapped around Hatter's torso. My strength was returning to me. I closed my eyes, and very gently kissed him back. It had been so long since this happened. I had missed this._

_His arms tightened around mine. And thats when I began to fully understand how much I meant to him. Perhaps he was real. Perhaps this wasn't just a dream...I would find out soon._

_I could feel the kiss deepen as his hands pressed my head against his. Everything was becoming a blur. I could feel the intense affection we had for each other. I could not sense lust. Nothing was forced. Nothing was harsh. It was completely gentle._

_My memory became blurred. I couldn't remember much. I remember some gasping and intense pleasure shooting through me. I remember a hand gently cupping my face and a mouth over mine. I remember being held tight in his embrace. I remember a weight pressed against me..._

_When I came to, I was laying in his bed still, under the covers and half naked. I felt tired, completely tired. I felt complete. I felt happy. I felt..._

_My eyes looked around. Where did Hatter go?_

_Alone._

_I sat up, my eyes searching frantically for Hatter. My raven black hair tumbled down my bare back. He was with me wasn't he? What was going on? I thought he was laying down with me. "Hatter?" I called, feeling completely worried. Where did he go?_

_I called and called. Still no answer. I had to get up..._

_I grunted, pushing my body up and out of bed. The floor was dead cold and burning against my bare feet. I needed to find Hatter. Why did he leave me? I found myself in my clothes again. I left the bedroom. "H-Hatter!?"_

_I came into the hallway, my eyes searching for an answer to where Hatter was. He was no where to be seen. My eyes looked out the windows, seeing it was still raining horribly. I felt myself sadden once more. I just couldn't get away from this madness._

_"**...Why did you let me die."** Came a sudden voice._

_I felt the hairs stand on the back of my neck. I knew that voice...I knew it...There was no way..._

_**"Why did you let me die, Ailish..."**_

_I felt tears run down my face. It couldn't be. It couldn't. No. My dreams had turned against me. Everything was turning against me._

_I turned my head, preparing for the worst. But nothing could have prepared me for this._

_A woman was standing behind me, her eyes gone and filled with a black dripping void. Her mouth was askew. Her neck was twisted at a odd angle. Her skin was so pale it was almost blue. Her brown hair was dripping blood._

_**"Why did you let meeeeeeeee diiiiie, Aiiiiiliiiish?"** Came her demonic voice. It was Aaron. Aaron had come back to haunt me. Came back to end me. To ruin me. As punishment for not saving her._

_I gave a loud scream as she rushed me, her mouth opening to reveal razor sharp teeth and a void behind it. She was going to kill me._

_"AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAGHHHHHHHHHH!"_

* * *

I gave a loud cry or thought I did, my eyes opening.

I was awake...In the hospital...

My wide teary eyes looked around the room, trying to register that I was indeed awake.I could hear faint beeping. The Heart monitor was beeping, showing signs of life in my body. There was a clamp on my finger that was connected to the heart monitor.

My heart rate was fast. Incredibly fast. Of course I just came out of a nightmare. So that was obvious. Why did I have to dream about that? Why did I have a nightmare about her? And her face... Her demonic face...

I was alive. I wasn't dead. I was still here. My surgery was done. I was here. Awake.

Without _Hatter._

I felt my insides do a flip. The dream...Hatter...I bit my lip harshly. So much to take in at once. Hatter felt so real. And his words... His words did not come from me. It came from him like he was real. Was it real?

No it couldn't be. It was just a dream and my mind was just making it more believable to save me. He was never real. The next time I would sleep it would be normal. I wouldn't daydream for a while. I needed to think about reality. Aaron was dead. I had just gotten out of surgery. I needed to think about finding transport. No more distractions.

I turned my head, seeing a pot with a purple tulip in it on the table next to me. It had a note attached to it. I didn't want to move. But I wanted to see what it said. And the tulip looked so beautiful. With a huff, I reached out and moved the potted tulip closer, my hands opening the note.

My eyes blinked a few times, trying to read what is said. Soon it had become clear. But it confused me greatly. The handwriting was a bit messy, but I could read it.

_**Dear Ailish, I did not want to disturb you. So I brought you a special gift. I find this in my garden, still alive and growing. I couldn't bare to cut it so I potted it for you. I will see you again soon. All the sweets. H~**_

I blinked a few times. Who was this person? Was this one of the nurses? But I didn't know of anyone with the first letter H. Who was it? He would see me again soon?...

It was a beautiful tulip. It would need sunshine. The poor thing. It would need companion plants. But how did this person know the tulip was my favorite plant? This made no sense. Who did I know, with the first letter H, that knew I liked tulips?

I will see you again soon. Those words repeated in my head. Over and over. Again, again? So I had met this person before?

H...H...

Slowly, my hand covered my mouth. My eyes stared at the card. The handwriting...It...Looked so familiar...It...No. He couldn't be real. Perhaps I was still dreaming. No, I wasn't. I was awake. I could feel the pain. The mind numbing pain. I was awake, this was real...

A tear drop landed on the card, staining the writing. I was crying. I was crying, because that this had to be a joke. This had to be such a joke. But no. It was his handwriting. What I knew was that...

He was real...Hatter was real...And this was no dream. Hatter was real...

_And he was waiting..._


End file.
